Discovering Joy

I sit at my desk staring at the lists stuck up in front of me, sorting through emails, writing new lists. I lean back on my chair and sigh, I feel overwhelmed by it all and wonder what the point is. I wonder where the joy is, I wonder what it was that used to make this working, this caring, this living, this breathing, so light and fun, and happy.

I glance over at my bookshelf thinking about what to do next and a notebook on the top shelf catches my eye; laying all wonky, just tossed on the shelf as if forgotten. I remember who bought me the book, and why, but I also remember that the purpose never got fulfilled and I began to use it for something else, I can’t remember what. As I reach over and take it off the shelf and feel its embroidered cover I wrack my brain trying to remember what is inside. I cannot remember and I open it slowly, curious as to what I might find.

A list.My list.
My grace-gift list.
My gratitude on a page.

I only ever got too #48, after that I moved and I guess that is when it got misplaced. I read through the list, its great in variety, and surprising in content at times.

The small everyday things that made me give thanks:

Children playing the ‘waving game’ out of car windows #1
 Fields stretched out like patchwork quilts in the valleys below #13
Freshly tarmacked roads #22

The hard things which seem so big, that only by God’s grace I could write:

Freedom in being child-free #25
Understanding what it means to have beauty out of ashes #43

The big moments where God’s blessing poured out so visably and I was about to shout the praise back:

Skyping with Libby R #27
Medical clearance #28
Sitting up late with friends encouraging one another #44

I read and I re-read, absorbing the joy, the thanks, the gratitude; remembering where the joy is, remembering the abundance of gratitude and praise that is owed. I feel my heart getting lighter, and the smile fixes on my face.

I remember the need to moment by moment notice the gifts, the be thankful for them, to search them out, to go on a treasure hunt for joy. I remember how good it is to find grace in unexpected places and to give thanks for it, easy or hard.

 

 

 

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