Tears for His Rejection

I’m part of an amazing community group called (in) This Season, part of the (in)Courage family. As a part of the community each week we’ll be writing a blog post to share with each other. To find ut more about (in)Courage click on the button below.


I’ve spent my summer celebrating, relaxing, reconnecting with friends and family, being surrounded by joy. But in amongst all that there were griefs too. I watched as friends and mentors were buried, I said my own goodbyes and grieved alone as friends far away finished their race here. But mainly, mainly I have been surrounded by joy, and it has been good for my soul, it has been a much needed change.

One day, in amongst all this joy, I faced a difficult task. I had to watch as someone I knew made a choice which meant I would no longer be in their life the same way I had been. I may still be a part of it, but my part will be smaller, and our relationship will be weaker. I had to watch them walk out of my life and watch after their backs and they faded into the distance. I had promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but the tears came nonetheless. My heart ached, and I wanted to run after them, but I knew I must stay and watch them walk. In the midst of it I sat still, and I begged God to remain close, and He did. I asked him for an explanation, and I didn’t get one. Instead I got this:

“Feel how much this hurts Emilie? To have them walk away, after all you’ve done, after the way you’ve loved. To watch them walk out of your life, and to know they’ll be much distant from now? Feel how much that hurts? Now imagine how much it hurts when the person I was tortured for, the person I loved like no-one else had loved them, the person I bled and died for, walks away from me. Think about how much that hurts me.”

My tears changed, from one of self-pity, to ones of brokenness for the rejections my saviour faces day after day.

In that moment my heart was re-awakened with a passion to reach those who reject. For my lover, and my saviour, for he deserves more than to be rejected. He deserves love and praise and gratitude, if only they would see and understand what He did for them. Knowing too that if they stop rejecting the embrace of love and grace they will experience will be far greater than anything else in their lives.


7 Spaces – Praying throughout the day

After listening to Jen Hatmaker speak over on (in)courage about giving up stress by creating 7 “sacred spaces” in her day to pray, I felt challenged to do the same for a month.


I have 7 set times each day, with an alarm of my phone so I don’t forget, and a set theme to pray. Maybe just for 30 seconds, maybe for 5 or 10 mins. Whatever happens. The important thing is to pause, refocus, and remember him who created and saved me. To thank him and to give over all things to him. There are set themes you can follow I think, but I made my own. My day looks like this:


1) Praise

2) Commit

3) Intercede for others

4) Personal Requests

5) World issues

6) Listen

7) Confess


The interesting thing I have found is this:


By the time I have spent time Praising, committing, and interceding, and it gets around to my own requests, they don’t seem to need time dwelt on them. One I’ve recognized how good he is, committed my day and what I do to him, and shifted the focus from me onto others, my problems don’t seem to bear much weight. I list the areas I need help or inspiration in before God, but it’s normally my shortest time.


Let’s not give our hardships more time or energy than they deserve. Let the tears fall, but don’t let them overtake the faith. Let it hurt, then drop the pain at the cross and walk away with joy. It doesn’t mean it will stop hurting, or that it should, but maybe it will give a fresh perspective, or enough hope and strength to endure and just keep walking just for one more hour.

31 Days : Proverbs 9

31 Days in Proverbs



We’ve missed a few days, days, sorry.


Proverbs 9.


I see we have a choice. We can CHOOSE wisdom. We don’t have to wait for it to come to us, we don’t have to hope it stumbles upon us. We can choose to pursue it, we can choose to live with it. Isn’t that great? I don’t have to hope I’m lucky enough to one day deserve it, I can choose to go after it now. On the other hand, I could choose folly too… I hope not.


Verses 8-9

“But correct the wise, and they will love you. Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.”

How do I know if I’m going after wisdom? If I’m maturing in it?
If I love correction, if I yearn after instruction, if I want to be taught, more and more, each day.

I might be headed in the right direction, but I’m definitely not there yet. I can’t say I LOVE correction. Room for improvement I think.