I don’t really like writing about my health. But since lots of you have been asking what is going on I’m going to attempt a short summary.
- My body isn’t doing what we had hoped, or expected, and so we’re waiting. I’ll be spending now until the end of April in and out of hospital undergoing tests and investigations.
- This means that the new treatment I had hoped to start, I can’t have. Not for now at least. I’m hoping that on April 25 we’ll be able to make some decisions on what’s next. There are several possible scenarios depending on what these tests show.
- For now I’m sticking to high doses of steroids, on new higher pain relief, taking some other new meds, and just letting my body rest.
- I know some of you like to know what all my symptoms are… I’m just going to say that my bones, my joints, my digestive tract, and my eyes are all having difficulty right now.
- So things have changed, and changed pretty rapidly. I’m still getting used to these new pain meds, but they seem to be doing a good job.
I’m thankful to have such caring and dedicated doctors, I am thankful for friends who text and ring just to see how I am, I am thankful to be surrounded by people who are always willing to help out however they can, I am thankful that I have the freedom to be able to rest, to sleep and wake when I can, to eat or not as I feel able. I am thankful for my peaceful, beautiful surroundings. I am thankful for this reminder that I need my God and my saviour, I am thankful that this gives me the time and space to be still and know Him. I am thankful that these new medications are allowing me to go out and create memories with wonderful people. I am thankful that I know I am loved by God, that I am surrounded by Him, and that he saves me day after day, and restores my hope. I am thankful that I don’t need to be strong, for it is in my weakness that He is strong. I am thankful for my life just the way it is.
So, you see, from the outside it might seem like things are pretty miserable right now. I’m not miserable though. Yes sometimes it is frustrating, yes sometimes it is hard, no it’s not what I had dreamed I would be doing right now, but in those moments I ask God for his perspective, in those feelings I find His comfort and His peace. I am thankful for what my life is, I am thankful for ALL my life is. I have so many of the “good” things, and the “bad” things, they are where I find intimacy with a God who saves me, and who loves me, and so I am thankful for those too.
I know some of you have been praying for me. Not for healing, but that I would know God in every moment. In the healthy days, in the laughter, but also in the pain, in the vomiting, in the uncertainty, in the duvet days, in all my moments that I would know God. That really is my hearts prayer and desire. I want you to know that am knowing God in my moments, so thank you for asking in my behalf, please do continue.