I’m part of an amazing community group called (in) This Season, part of the (in)Courage family. As a part of the community each week we’ll be writing a blog post to share with each other. To find ut more about (in)Courage click on the button below.
I’ve spent my summer celebrating, relaxing, reconnecting with friends and family, being surrounded by joy. But in amongst all that there were griefs too. I watched as friends and mentors were buried, I said my own goodbyes and grieved alone as friends far away finished their race here. But mainly, mainly I have been surrounded by joy, and it has been good for my soul, it has been a much needed change.
One day, in amongst all this joy, I faced a difficult task. I had to watch as someone I knew made a choice which meant I would no longer be in their life the same way I had been. I may still be a part of it, but my part will be smaller, and our relationship will be weaker. I had to watch them walk out of my life and watch after their backs and they faded into the distance. I had promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but the tears came nonetheless. My heart ached, and I wanted to run after them, but I knew I must stay and watch them walk. In the midst of it I sat still, and I begged God to remain close, and He did. I asked him for an explanation, and I didn’t get one. Instead I got this:
“Feel how much this hurts Emilie? To have them walk away, after all you’ve done, after the way you’ve loved. To watch them walk out of your life, and to know they’ll be much distant from now? Feel how much that hurts? Now imagine how much it hurts when the person I was tortured for, the person I loved like no-one else had loved them, the person I bled and died for, walks away from me. Think about how much that hurts me.”
My tears changed, from one of self-pity, to ones of brokenness for the rejections my saviour faces day after day.
In that moment my heart was re-awakened with a passion to reach those who reject. For my lover, and my saviour, for he deserves more than to be rejected. He deserves love and praise and gratitude, if only they would see and understand what He did for them. Knowing too that if they stop rejecting the embrace of love and grace they will experience will be far greater than anything else in their lives.
It was late yesterday by the time I sat down to write, and I almost did. I pulled up a blank page, and was about to write. Just a sentance or two, I had no energy to write more than that, but I had to write, I couldn’t fail. Then I stopped. I never want to write out of obligation, or out of duty. I never want to blog because I should. I want to write from my heart, I want to write honestly, and I want to write whilst being all there, I don’t want to give you my leftovers. So I didn’t write, and I didn’t count myself a failure. Instead I woke up day to treat it as a new day, and I new beginning.
So here we go… Day 5, Proverbs 5
Well this chapter seems to be all about marital faithfulness, which believe me I am ALL for. Seriously trampled on promises, and broken marriages suck for all involved. Thank God for forgiveness, grace and His healing.
I am single, never been married, not once, honestly! So my question is, what truths or principles are in here that I can learn? Three things I think:
1) Wisdom is important (I see a theme here!) I need to really take it on board.
2) The sin before me may look and seem wonderful, sweet, fun, and harmless; but in reality it’s not and it will end in disaster if I follow it.
3) God sees all I do, there’s no hiding from him. Scary, when I’m out to disobey him, to shame him, he’s there, he knows. Comforting, there’s nothing I’ve done he doesn’t know, nothing I need to hide from him, nothing he isn’t willing to forgive. Nothing that will stop him loving me.
Those are my lessons from Chapter 5.
What are yours?
My brain is very fuzzy these days, and one of the last things I feel like doing today is writing, and I feel like I’m 100% lost for inspiration. For that reason I wasn’t going to do the link up today, but then I thought, well that’s kinda one of the points of this. To write, when we don’t want to, to write, when we don’t have the inspiration, to write, even if the result isn’t great or what we would hope for.
So here I am, midnight (so technically Saturday I guess… but it’s still Friday in the States!), about to do my 5 mins, because that’s what we do round here, and that’s what Lisa-Jo encourages us to do.
Why not join in the link up? You can get to GypsyMama here.
Lets remind ourselves of the rules:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
The weeks prompt is: “Path”
They say your life is a path. From a young age you’re told to think about the “path” you’re on. Think about how your actions will effect the path you go down. Choose your subjects at school wisely, behave well, be kind, etc etc. Choose a career path. When you find the “one” work out what path you’re on together, marriage, kids, the timing of it all.
This path, though it has different stages, it’s called life, and from what I hear it seems to be pretty important. But what no-one tells you when you’re young is that you can make all the right choices, you can do all the loving things, you can live by the rule book, but that doesn’t guarantee you a place on a smooth path, it doesn’t even guarantee you that your path will lead where you had hoped.
We’re on this path, and it’s stretching out in front of us, none of us really have any idea where it’s leading, or what it will pass on the way. I just know there’s only one decision that really matters, only one choice that is really of any significance. That is the one of faith. Will I choose God? Will I choose to trust Him? Will I choose to believe in Jesus, that He is God and that he died for me? Will I choose to accept the power of the cross, my forgiveness, saving grace for me? That’s the decision that matters, because that one choice, that’s the choice that will affect where my path ends, and that choice, it’s the only one with a guaranteed outcome one way or the other.
So I finish by saying, this path of life we’re all on. Let’s contemplate that one choice, and make it wisely. Will we know Jesus as our saviour? And then let’s remember that the other choices, they’re not really ours to make, and we don’t really control what route our path takes. Let’s leave those choices up to God, and let’s taste the freedom in that.
Ok there were my five minutes. I’m glad I did them. If you don’t have a blog why don’t you join in anyway? Write in our journal, or the back of your shopping list, or scribble it on a piece of scrap paper. Try it and see.