No lists of things to accomplish,
No new endevours,
Just one word, simply one word, a year marked by one word. [Find out more about One Word here]
I have written before, I am entering 2012 in a way I have never entered a year before.
No set plans
No vague plans
No knowledge of what the year ahead holds
Just a foreboding- yet exciting – emptiness, freedom, uncertainty, a year with great potential, yet no path through it.
I sat thinking about 2012, 2012, that one date that everyone kept mentioning, 2012, it filed me with a sense of fear and panic, it made me want to close my ears. Why? It’s just a date, it’s just another year. I pleaded with my father in heaven, “Search my heart, show me why I hate hearing those two words -twenty twelve -“. I sat and waited. I realized, 2012, the year of a blank canvas, not a fresh start, there is nothing on my agenda to start, just a blank canvass of nothingness, as far as my eyes can see. I poured out my heart, cried out my emotions, asked God to see this through His eyes, the eyes that see further and clearer than mine, the eyes that have an eternal perspective. I felt my heart slow, my body relax, my mind be at peace, and my spirit uplifted. A blank canvas; the potential to do anything, anything, God could ask of me; the freedom to go wherever, be whoever, do whatever; the expectation of working for eternity, no barriers from pre-set plans.
A few evenings later I sat, in a dark, cold room, doodling by candle-light. What could my One Word be? I wanted something different, thought provoking, poetic sounding, profound. I tossed the possibilities over and over in my mind, I wrote them down in fancy letters, I rolled them off my tongue. Then I heard it, a whisper to my heart. “Trust”. Trust? How normal, simple, boring. I heard it again, a little more forceful this time “Trust” . My heart clenched, my mind screamed, my eyes closed, my ears tried to be deaf, but you cannot silence the voice of God. Trust, the word, simple, boring. Trust, the action, difficult, vulnerable, scary.
In amongst the uncertainty, the chaos of the year ahead I need to constantly trust, over and over again, moment by moment choose to trust God. Choose to trust the One who is bigger than I, who has a plan, for whom nothing surprises, who wants only good for me, who is working to build eternity.
So in 2012 I will rely, I will lean on God. I will attempt to TRUST.
I’ll be posting a review of my progress with my One Word every 3 months, and no doubt it will shape many other posts. So come back, keep me accountable, see how TRUST is shaping my life.
I’d love to hear from you – how have you learnt to Trust more?
What is your One Word, or resolutions for 2012?
It’s coming up to the New Year (at least for us Westerners), and as much as I hate resolutions, goal setting, and good intentions for change, I’m a bit attached to the tradition. So I’ve been thinking about what I could do. I want to combine tradition with something that will really make a difference. So far I’ve come across two ideas:
One Word is an initiative set up by my blogging friend. Take a look at the original idea here. Instead of having a long list of resolutions you chose one word to remember for that year and act upon. Reading other people’s summaries from 2011, it seems like a successful and good idea. I think I’m going to try it out, I just don’t yet know what my one word will be.
The other, a bucket list. I realize that sounds rather gloomy. Not so much a dying bucket list, as a 2012 only comes round once bucket list. Instead of it being a long, vague, unattainable “things to do before I die” list, t is specific to that year and things you REALLY want to do, and also think can be achievable. It give you the drive to do the things you may otherwise put off forever. I like this idea, I just need to decide what’s going to go one my list. I was a list of 12, one for each month (although it might not work out like that).
What are you planning on doing to help you move forward in 2012?
What would you suggest I put on my bucket list?