Five Minute Friday :: HomePosted: March 9, 2013
I’m writing my Five Minute Friday post on Saturday! Just to change things up.
Actually if it wasn’t for my friend Jenn (check out her writing here), I would have missed it completely.
This week’s prompt is…
He looked at me and asked me how long I’d be leaving for. I lowered my eyes as I shrugged, “A one way ticket, til God moves me on.”
I’m excited to leave, and yet my heart feels like it’s being ripped apart again.
She’s sitting next to me, young in years, she takes my hand and says, “but it must have been hard last time too.”
I shake my head, “not really, not like this.”
I look up and take in their faces, the few left, the remainder of the party that’s now over. I let myself feel the love I have for each one of those, the ways they have each carried me through some of the hardest times, the fun, laughter, the tears and pain. The moments of pure boredom, moments of despair and desperation. They have walked the beautiful roads with me and the most ugly paths too.
No, last time it was nothing like this.
Last time I was not leaving these people. Last time I was not leaving home.
I realize it, this place has become home. I know not how, I know not when.
Home doesn’t exist for the girl who has only ever known a life of travel and moving.
A life marked by goodbyes doesn’t dare call anywhere home.
Yet, now, somehow, I am at home. In this little house, in this tiny town, with everything I hate. In this country that used to make me feel sick, in this town that used to suffocate me. I find myself feeling and calling it home.
I see him looking at me, he knows the ugliness inside me. I feel her hand on mine, she knows my messy past because I have walked her journey with her. My legs rest on another friend, he has bought me comfort through laughter and fun countless times. I hear my roommate chatting behind me, she knows me, she has bared my burdens with me. I catch a glimpse of another swigging his beer, oh how he has kept me humble with his knowledge. All these and all those that were there earlier. They have changed me.
These people, that have made this place home.
These people, they are my home.
These people who have broken my barriers with love.
These people who have somehow melted me to vulnerability.These people, who if I’m honest, I once wrote off as not being right for me.
These people who know me.
Who have seen me.
Who know the mess, the ugly, and have helped draw out beauty.
These people who have loved me despite it all.
These people are my home.
When I saw the prompt, home, I didn’t think I could write in 5 minutes. Home is far too loaded a word for me to unpack in just 5 minutes.
I did it though, 5 minutes exactly. Thanks to last night’s party – just as well I’m cheating and writing on Saturday!