Envelopes and Pauses with GodPosted: February 18, 2013
The mail has arrived early this morning and I scoop down to pick it off the doormat. I shuffle through them reading the names one by one, all address to me. I carry them up the stairs and lay them on my table-come-desk. I sit and pick up the top letter.
I know not who these letters are from, but I know the power letters have to change the course of hours, days, months, lifetimes. They may carry printed sheets of no significance what-so-ever, the kind that go straight into the recycling bin, ready to be torn, and soaked, and reshaped, into something else entirely. However, they may also carry good news, or bad news, news that encourages, or news that frustrates.
I am aware of my need to remember my God, the author of my story, to remember who He is, to remember His promises, to remember where my value lies.
If it is good news my heart has the tendency to become proud, proud of my achievements, my work, my dedication, my abilities. Only they’re not mine, they are His, it is all His, for He created me – from scratch, and all I have and all I achieve is simply a gift from His hands. Good news also makes me run off and make my own plans, makes me tend to my needs first above all else, it sets me off going at 100 mph. But stop oh my girl. Stop, wait, listen. Give thanks first, and remember all you have is a gift from Him. Ask what it is your saviour would have you do. See where your author of life would have your story go.
If it is bad news my soul is so easily discouraged. Hope flees in an instant, dreams dissolve to nothing, smiles fade. If it is bad news I have the capacity to become stressed, frustrated, anxious as control seems to slip from my hands, as if it was ever in my hands in the first place. My stress turns to anger, anger at those who wrote the letter, anger at all who cross my path. Bad news can lead me to rely on myself, to handle situations in my own strength, to make my own plans, to respond with my words. But bad news is not bad news, it is simply unexpected news. He holds this all in His hands, and none of it is a surprise to the one who created it all, He has a plan and He knows how this will all work into it. He is the master of making beauty out of ashes. I must wait for his perspective, for His peace, for His love.
So I pause for a moment, letters sitting unopened in front of me and I recall all the things I know my God to be.
King of Kings
Great I AM
I recall each of them, and I let my heart settle on who He is, before I allow any other voice to speak into my life.
Breathing in all He is, I pick up the first envelope and open it.