Derek Shepherd Taught Me A Lesson

I’m  a Grey’s Anatomy fan. Until recently I had only seen random episodes here and there. Then I decided to start watching it from the start, and, oh my, I got totally sucked in. I love the drama, and the medical world, and the love stories, and the deeper lessons flowing through. It makes me cry regularly, and everyone knows that I’m a sucker for shows that make me cry!

I also take far too much meaning from films and TV shows. I have been known to take a notepad to the cinema so I can write down great quotes, or meaningful moments. I often scribble down lessons from TV shows. I know, it’s so not cool. I need to get some help right? Well, until then, bare with me a little ok?

I was watching a season two episode of Grey’s Anatomy recently and there’s this scene at the end of the episode between Addison and Derek. (For those of you who don’t know, they are married, and she’s recently come back to him having had an affair with his friend. He’s trying hard to make it work and forgive her but struggling.)
In the episode Derek has been having this slow revelation that maybe he had a part to play too. No, he didn’t do the cheating, he didn’t start an affair, but he had some blame too. He walks in to their home at the end of the day and sits at the foot of the bed she’s sitting on and they have the following conversation:


Derek: I was indifferent […] I was indifferent towards you.
Addison: Yes
Derek: I was absent
Addison: Yes
Derek: I’m partly to blame for what has happened to our marriage
Addison: Yeah
Derek: I’m sorry, I’m working on it. Ok?
Addison: Ok.


It was a big moment for Addison and Derek. It struck me too, as though that were God and I having that conversation, with me sitting at his feet, confessing my shortcomings.

How often do I need to have that conversation with God? Our relationship seems to be less than great, and I need to come and confess. I’ve been indifferent, I’ve been absent, I’m to blame, and I’m sorry, I’m working on it.

I love Addison’s reaction. No shouting, no rubbing salt in the wound, no gloating; just simple acceptance. Acknowledgement that yes, he fell short, acknowledging his humble apology, and acceptance of his repentance and desire to change.

Isn’t that how God accepts us? Gently, simply. Yes, we have missed the mark, yes we have caused our relationship to struggle, but it’s ok, he knows we’re sorry, he knows we’re working on it. He wants to work along side us.

Disclaimer: I realize this analogy falls apart at the point that we know Addison went and committed adultery, she is equally to blame. God is not to blame for our distant relationship, nothing He has done has caused us to be separated.


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