Ordinary MomentsPosted: January 8, 2013
I am sat in the very same room I was a year ago. To many this would be of little significance. For me, it is a wonderful story of God’s faithfulness. A year ago 2012 held no plans, not even an idea of where I would be living, or where my finances would be coming from. It was a miracle in itself that I was in this room a year ago, and as I waved goodbye to this house, to these people, to this land, to this continent, I longed for God to bring me back, but I knew not how, when, or if, He would. Yet here I am, one year later, sat in this very room, and I am overcome with thankfulness that He would bring me back here. Not a day goes by here when my heart is not humbled and grateful at His working. In just a few weeks I must prepare to leave again, to wave goodbye to it all again. Yet this time I have hope, I have hope that He will allow me to return, next time for longer. I will not wave goodbye and treasure final sights as if they are my last, this time I will simply say farewell and look forward to the day when I will return.
I entered 2012 with no plans, not by my own doing. I love plans, and lists, and schedules. The way life was, the way my health was, meant that there were no plans. It was daunting and scary. I assumed that at some point a plan would be formed, I was wrong. Here I am, a year later, and no plans were ever made. I went week-by-week, sometimes day-by-day, at times hour-by-hour, just feeling my way through the year, never knowing what would happen. I would love to tell you how exciting I found it, how thrilling it was, how much of a wonderful adventure I had, but I would be lying. It was a struggle, I found it a constant battle to keep walking each day not know where these steps were heading, not knowing if there would ever be a destination. I found it frustrating, to keep seeking His face, His plan, His will, and not ever getting a clear answer. No open doors, no clear direction. I faced comments of others, friends, those who meant well “You should really get a plan”, “You can’t just keep drifting along”, “Maybe it’s time to give up and pursue something else”. I knew though, I knew it wasn’t time to give up, I knew this wasn’t drifting, I knew this was His time, and that He was taking the ashes of my life and turning them into beauty, I knew that He had a plan, and that I didn’t need one, I just needed to love and obey moment by moment. I knew it, I didn’t like it, I didn’t find it easy, I often fought against it, but I knew it, and so moment by moment I chose to follow what I knew to be true.
I look back over the year and I cannot think of any extraordinary, life changing, defining moments. Still this year as a whole has been life defining. Through enduring the mundane, through simply living the ordinary moments I have grown and learnt and changed. I have learnt to trust. I have learnt to choose joy. I have learnt that what we disregard as meaningless, unimportant tasks He uses to weave something incredible. If we are simply faithful in the small things, if we just do the next loving thing; He will carve our path into something wonderful, and He will lead us into right and great things, He will use it all for His name’s sake.
My prayer for 2013 is that I will remember that each moment counts, that none of it is wasted for Him. I pray I will continue to trust and obey moment by moment and let Him take care of the big picture.