One Word Round-Up :: TRUSTPosted: January 7, 2013
This is my OneWord round-up from last year. I’ve been thinking about it, and attempting to write it for some time now, and finally I have sat down determined to actually write something.
I am giving myself grace, this does not have to be perfect, it does not have to be eloquent, it does not have to paint to full picture. I just need to write something, and whatever is said will be enough. So here is goes…
Trust. I am so sick of that word. It has followed be around like a lost puppy dog. It found me last December, though I wanted another word, I reluctantly accepted it. As the year wore on I embraced it. Yet still there were times when I willed it to be banished from my mind, willed it to leave me alone, yet it stuck, and it stuck close. Trust. I know it’s a word that will be with me now forever, it has become an intrinsic part of my thinking, and yet I am ready to let it fade a little into the background. I am ready to pick up a new word, friend of foe, I do not know, I imagine it will flit between the two, but I am ready.
My initial thoughts at the beginning of the year were this:
“Trust, trust God to take care of your future, and trust Him to lead you into good things.”
I wasn’t entirely wrong. Part of this journey of trust was to trust him with my future, and by future, I mean next week, or the week after.
There was more than that though. It was to trust God in more than that. It was to trust that even when things seemed to be bad, when it seemed he had led me into horrific situation, that there was still hope, that it would be for good, and there was beauty being formed.
To trust that in bed ridden sickness there was hope
To trust that where there was nothing He would provide
To trust that even though I couldn’t hold on He was strong enough
To trust that in total uncertainty He had a plan
To trust that when I fell He would save
To trust that when things seemed to be going from bad to worse He was in control
To trust that when all else failed He was enough
To trust that from the ashes on which I sat beauty would rise
To trust that He loves me, is holding me, is leading me, is saving me, is growing me, is preparing me, is watching me, is forgiving me, is delighting in me.
To trust that He is everything, and He is enough.
It wasn’t just trust in God though. I was also trust in others, and trust in organizations, and trust in myself.
To trust others, to be vulnerable with them, to allow them to see my hurt and pain, to see my heart, to see what was behind the shell I normally wear.
To trust they intended good for me, to trust they wanted to help, to trust that they cared, to trust they would not abandon, to trust they would not gossip.
To trust organizations, to trust they mean what they say, to trust they are listening and obeying God, to trust they care, to trust are honest, to trust their failings are not intentional, to trust they they are doing their best.
To trust myself. To trust that I had the ability to do the ask in front of me, to trust my ideas were worth sharing, to trust my judgement, to trust me decisions, to trust what I thought to be true and right and good.
Whenever things seemed to go wrong, or about to fall through, whenever I was anxious about decisions, or fretting over what needed to be done, whenever I was too scared to share, or felt less than willing, I would hear that OneWord:
Sometimes I chose to listen, to trust, other times I chose not to.
In any event, the word “trust” has shaped my year, and helped mold me into who I am now. I am still learning, still having to choose in each moment, this word will be a part of me now.
For this year, my word is totally different, I’ll be sharing with you soon.